Three reasons why Balthazar is bedroom bully-in-chief

That’s why many men want to be him. If you are one of those men, we have several reasons why Balthazar is the bedroom bully-in-chief. Reasons that may help you put the bang in your inner Ebanga and the Gonga in your hidden Engonga, next time you meet the woman of your dreams.

He is non-threatening: Balthazar appears harmless, like a puppy that has matured before its time. This is a double-edged sword. Most women do not want to be outshone by their men.

The attention should be on them. So looking as understated as Balthazar does attracts ladies who will shine by association with him. Now you know why average-looking guys get gorgeous women.

Puppies are, after all, cute. Also, if you look like Balthazar, no man would suspect you to know your way around a bedroom unless it is to make your bed. So they will gladly let you mingle with their wives and daughters, certain that their women would be spending time with a contraceptive instead of a man.

He is bald: Balthazar has no hair above his waist, reportedly. It is probable that the ladies Balthazar seduced thought he was Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. So he took their Hart, without Kevin.

Since we all know he’s the reason many people watch movies with him and Kevin Hart in them. We are not sure if he is suffering from Male Pattern Baldness (MPB) or he shaved his head or the hairs on his head simply left after having a falling out with him. Suffice to say, though, baldness is power.

Research in Social Psychological and Personality Science suggests that “there are some benefits to being bald. The researchers had participants (men and women) rate photos of bald men and men with a full head of hair on how dominant, agreeable, and old they might be.

The bald men were perceived to be about one year older, slightly more agreeable, and much more dominant,” writes Ryan Anderson, PHD.

He is married: Many women only want a man who is wanted. The fact that he was wanted by a beautiful wife only added to his allure.

If he had been a polygamist with several beautiful wives, his shots-per-goal ratio would have been better than Messi and Ronaldo’s combined. To be sure, there is nothing that screams lover man than a happily married man.

That’s because the man is happy, owing to the adage: a happy wife, a happy life. So the women calculate that if he can make his wife happy, he has plenty of happiness to spare for his would-be wives.

Indeed, Balthazar had ninety-nine problems and four hundred and sixty of them were sex tapes. This, to several men and women, is every reason to give this pie-bald man a pat on the back. Provided that Pat is not short for Patricia.