Pseudo-orphans are candidates for streets

 My friend used to have everything that any child would dream of having, and sometimes I would wonder why he came to the Army Children School – Mbuya, which was rather humble compared to the glorious Buganda Road Primary School back in the nineties, where Nelson had been prior.

My friend would have all the money for the entire week given to him by his parents and he would spend on everything he chose whereas his parents were always away for work within the country and abroad.

Nelson spent most of the time with a caretaker at home if he wasn’t out riding his Mountain bike through the neighbourhoods and through the city.

He had so much liberty that it got me envious since my parents would not grant me an inch of that kind of freedom.

After almost 30 years, I came to know that Nelson didn’t survive drugs and alcohol, he lost his mind to mental sickness. He was a partial street child because he spent more time with the street gangs than he stayed home.

This story is just one in thousands of similar real life experiences.

The absence of parents in the lives of their children as they grow up, leaves a void within the children and it stays with them through adulthood. This vacuum is caused by a love deficit from parents resulting in attachment pain, the worst form of pain anyone would ever experience. It is left in the subconscious mind. 

The subconscious is responsible for directing our behaviour. So, the effect presents naturally and the victim is not conscious or in control.

Since  the foundational years of any human being require nourishment of food, in this case a balanced diet, it is equally of great importance that the child gets nourishment of loving care from both parents for emotional wellbeing and stability.

A child whose parents are absent in his or her daily life, is a pseudo-orphan. Because the ultimate benefit of parents to their children should be an active presence.

Children who run to the streets are mostly unattached and therefore, seek belonging consciously but especially unconsciously because they do not know exactly why they leave their homes and end up on the streets.

Lack of parental control is the major cause of juvenile delinquency. But before children are in juvenile facilities, they are bound to run to the streets because they have been neglected or abandoned. This could result in conflict with the law.

If children are spending more time on television, tablets, phones and play station, then you have isolated them from yourself as a parent. This renders them neglected and therefore, beyond the television and the tablets they could go out to look for peers with whom to associate. They just lose the sense of belonging and end up starting on drugs and alcohol.

It is easier to get substances out there on the streets. Therefore, children in street situations are not necessarily those coming from poverty-stricken homes.

The very reason that we find children from well-to-do or high-end families in rehab facilities is the very reason why we find such children on the streets. And that is why many times people go to rehab more than once because the real cause is not addressed.

We ought to spend more time with our children and shape their values, behaviour and life skills.

Mr Sanyu is a children’s rights advocate.