Kenyan social media star, Elsa Majimbo, made headlines again after commenting on the common practice of Black tax. This is whereby successful or wealthier people of African descent send money to their family members in need. In most instances, it happens to people who immigrate to get a better life. Black tax isn’t exclusive to Black people. Many other citizens in the Global South move to developed countries to support their families back home. Majimbo’s comments resonated with a lot of people on Twitter (now X) but many people were hesitant to agree with the extent to which she called people in need lazy.
“Sending money back home to your extended family is such a common African practice that I absolutely hate”
⁃Elsa Majimbo pic.twitter.com/ucdJv6Ltph
— @𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗷𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗯𝗼𝘆 (@OneJoblessBoy) August 13, 2024
Majimbo spoke of how these family members asked her father for money and now that she’s grown and moved abroad, the same family members are still asking her for money. This has also happened to people who receive a windfall locally. When the adult children lose their parents or grandparents and inherit land or property, distant aunties and uncles come out of the woodwork asking for a handout. Many of them utilise guilt tripping—where they talk about how their children will starve—or they talk about how they helped the deceased and now it’s time for quid pro quo.
People in need vs lazy people
Majimbo also said these family members still asking for help are lazy. It’s understandable to see the frustration from constantly being asked for money. In Majimbo’s case, and for many others, these family members are previously unknown and act like they are owed a share of this success. They were not a part of the hard work and sacrifices that went into achieving this success but still feel owed a cut of it. In addition, it can be baffling to people who have received their windfall how someone can still be in the same financial situation for decades.
However, calling poor people lazy is inherently problematic. The cycles of poverty can sometimes fail to be broken within one or two generations. While it may be frustrating to have to give handouts, it may be what some people have to live on. Many of the hardest working people are still poor because the system is rigged against them and they can’t catch a break. With the current state of the economy and endless government policies that frustrate farmers, upstarts, and SMEs, getting out of poverty is a tall order without support. In turn, the people who have to pay the black tax can’t provide enough financial support to lift their relatives out of poverty. This creates a vicious cycle where those in need remain so and those who help can’t do more.
Relatives in need should be able to ask for help without being shamed. However, they should also be willing to accept that not everyone can help or is willing to help. Families shouldn’t have to shoulder all the burdens that come with systemic failure. In the reality that we live in, it’s difficult to come up with cutthroat solutions to lift a whole generation of people out of poverty. But how can the burden be reduced?
10 Tips For Borrowing And Lending Money To Family And Friends
What can families do?
It’s unfair of family members to expect the children of those who used to support them to continue supporting them. If a father sends money to his siblings or cousins, his children shouldn’t have to continue the work that he was doing before unless it is something they are willing and happy to do. He can also lay clear rules that no one should approach his children for assistance unless it’s a crowdfunding emergency like for medical bills or hospitals.
6 Tips On Setting Financial Boundaries With Family
Establish a kitty
In situations of big families where some members need support periodically, perhaps a kitty where everyone willing and financially able can contribute. Those members in need can then withdraw what they need from this kitty. If they have a source of income, they can take assistance with lenient interest rates and this fund can eventually help others without needing to overburden younger generations.
Your People Vs Mine – How Couples Can Manage Extended Family Financial Responsibilities Better
Using connections
While lifting people out of poverty should be the government’s job, well-off families may unfortunately have to take on this task. Parents are lifelong caregivers and this can extend to their children, nieces, or nephews. When helping these extended family members, parents should find ways to make sure this assistance is long-lasting. This help can range from providing financial literacy to providing employment for those who don’t have a job. Successful children can also enforce these boundaries by keeping help minimal or ensuring they don’t end up part of the Black tax cycle by having savings and emergency funds.
Black tax shouldn’t be passed down
Successful children, like those in Majimbo’s situation, should also not be shamed or ostracised for being unwilling to help people they don’t know. It’s especially grating when these people make demands when they provide no support before any success is accomplished. If, for instance, Majimbo’s father was the one who knew these people and supported them then the buck stops with him. His children and grandchildren are not obligated to proceed with helping. Black tax isn’t hereditary.
There is the situation where the oldest children are forced to provide for the family even beyond what is reasonable and in the end, they neglect their own families because they are trying to help their relatives. Others have been helped in the past by the family and they have paid back this debt several times over but they keep being guilted about supporting the family so they keep supporting relatives until they retire or even after they retire.
Ultimately, the responsibility lies with older family members to set financial boundaries with their families. Black tax can be stressful and create friction among families. Older generations can ensure this stress ends with them by ensuring their obligations aren’t passed down to their children who don’t even have a relationship with the people asking for money.
Building Generational Wealth To Break The Black Tax Cycle
It is likely that young beneficiaries of black tax (those who were educated using black tax, for example), will eventually graduate to ‘payers’ once they start getting an income. The payers on the other hand, hardly get to put away much in anticipation of their retirement – and therefore – later go back to being beneficiaries in their old age. This cycle goes on for generations. It is equally important to ensure that future generations do not have to pay for it. This is having children graduate to not experiencing (or paying) the tax. Here are some of the things that parents need to do to ensure to eventually break the black tax cycle.
- Talk About Finances with the Children. 6 Things I Wish My Parents Had Taught Me About Finances
- Start Investing, like yesterday – Saving Or Investing, Which Way To Go?
- Build A Business to Pass Down – Tips On Running A Successful Family Business
- Have an Emergency and a Sinking Fund – Finances: The Importance Of An Emergency Fund
- Have Multiple Revenue Streams
- Invest in Your Children’s Education
- Get Life Insurance – What To Consider Before Buying Insurance Policies
- Put Your Affairs in Order – You Are Never Too Young To Write A Will – Why You Should Do It Now
- Establish Boundaries – 10 Tips For Borrowing And Lending Money To Family And Friends
For more details on how to do this check out Dealing With ‘Black Tax’ Part 2: Building Generational Wealth To Break The Black Tax Cycle
Setting Financial Boundaries
In this article 6 Tips On Setting Financial Boundaries With Family, we talk about different ways people can establish financial boundaries with their families. Here are some of the things to consider.
Creating a Budget for Yourself
An individual should have a budget and look at what they need for survival. This enables them to figure out their daily expenses and how much they can afford to give without messing themselves up financially. Identify a budgeting method that works. Struggling To Work Within A Budget? Here Are Some Tips To Help You
Check out Finances 101: How To Create A Budget And Different Budgeting Methods You Can Use
Set Limits
You can’t give out all your money and be left with nothing. Also, it is a bad idea to borrow money for such things because you can end up with debts you can’t pay. If a family member or members needs money you may need to limit how much you can give. Your budget helps you see how much money you can give or lend to your family.
Set Financial Goals
Financial goals make it easier for you to set financial boundaries. Take time to sit down and think about what you wish to achieve long-term and short-term. Laying down your financial goals also helps you to see how much you can lend without affecting your goals. Once you have set your goals prioritize them, so you don’t lose track of what you wish to achieve. Losing track of your goals also contributes to giving more than you can.
Speak Up
Have ground rules for lending money so that you do not say yes when you need to say no. You can be pressured into giving more than you can afford and thus you dig your own financial grave. Being aware of your feelings will help in your decision-making process. Once you have sorted through your feelings then communicate your boundaries. This doesn’t mean you have to say no directly. Be truthful as to why you are not in a position to lend money often. You can also take this opportunity to be upfront about the limits you have set based on your budget. Remember the earlier you set boundaries the better.
Expect Resistance
You may upset people by setting boundaries. Be prepared for this and stand firm about your priorities. Once you get used to enduring your boundaries your family will come around.
Black tax is a very emotive subject. Cycles of poverty are a reality but it is important to make sure that there is a balance between looking after the wider family and community and making sure that the nuclear family can also get out of the black tax cycle. Some people can help others so much that their own family isn’t able to save any money or invest then they will also need financial assistance from the extended family thereby perpetuating the black tax cycle.
Check out
Families And Finances: The Problem With Black Tax
Black Tax Led Her To Living Hand To Mouth Until She Couldn’t Take It Anymore
Dealing With ‘Black Tax’ Part 2: Building Generational Wealth To Break The Black Tax Cycle
Family: Dealing With Emotional Black Tax
